Our journey to having a baby!

I'm going to warn you now, before this post goes any further. You are going to be reading into something that is VERY personal, and you may just get to much information. Some of you may be offended, some of you may understand, some of you may try to understand, for our benefit please whatever you do, DON'T tell us that you understand our pain, it truly doesn't help our situation at all. Another warning is this will probably be a very long post, as it is a post that we struggle with daily, and we have yet to give out each and every detail as we are going to now! And so it begins...

After being married for under a year, we headed to the Dr for a yearly exam on Jo, we went together even though Darin was not excited for the venture. We were also going to discuss with the Dr why we can't seem to get pregnant on our own! The day came and went and with it came an order for a Semen Analysis for Darin, he did the test and the results came back that it couldn't be properly tested for one reason or another. At this point we were referred to a Fertility Dr in SLC, we made our appointment and then made the 4 hr drive to it. We performed another Semen Analysis the same day as our consultation and got the results while we were there. There should be millions of little sperm in one small sampling, and Darin had a wopping 20 live mobile sperm! We were also informed that Darin's testosterine levels were incredibly low, and this would be why his energey levels were so low etc.
We were then told that he had a Varicaseal on his testicle, and this could be fixed quite simply, and may solve our entire issue. Off we went to the Uroligist in Provo. We met with him once and scheduled the surgery, it was supposed to be an easy in and out procedure, so the very next day Jo was scheduled to have a bothersome tooth pulled at a Dentist specialist down the road. Good thing, we have wise and loving parents who not only know what's best for us, but fight for it as well. Nothing went according to plan. We left early in the morning for the surgery to Provo, Jo, Darin, and Jo's dad. Darin was taken into surgery, and after about double the time we had been told he'd be in, the Dr came out to discuss. They had found a hernia as well, and in repairing the hernia, the testicle in question was without blood for quite a long time. The chance that he would lose the testicle was higher that originally thought. Darin had a rough time coming out of the surgery and they kept him overnight. The next morning a quick visit to the hospital, and Jo was rushed off to have her tooth extracted. After that procedure it was back to the hospital to pick up the waiting and in pain Darin. At this point, we were so thankful Jo's dad had insisted on escorting us for this endeavor, because we both slept through the entire trip home. What was supposed to be a quick maybe 2 days off, was a full 6 week recovery time.
Then the waiting began, a full 6 months of waiting to let the surgery work and run it's course.
We went back to the fertility Dr for another Semen Analysis and was told that Darin had in fact lost a testicle, but no worries, you only need one to get a baby! The count had stayed about the same, no major changes. So we met with a nurse to go over the entire In-Vetro process! Although we both had insurance the entire process would not be covered. HOW? WHAT? WHEN? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? This all went through our minds. How do you come with this kind of money, and up front as well? What are these technical terms this woman keeps saying? When can all of this happen, we so desperately want a baby? What are we going to do, are we going to be able to pull this off? Off we went, totally overwhelmed with information, and lost in our own thoughts of dispair, and not sure how to really talk about it with each other, let alone others.
In figuring out the money part of our situation, Jo started to have some health problems, and was seeing Dr after Dr trying to get it all figured out. Basically it was problem after problem, struggle after struggle! Very frustrating! However, we trudged on through the problems, because we both believe that things happen for a reason, when they are supposed to happen.
When we made the move to North Dakota, we both felt so strongly that it was where we were supposed to be, so off we went. We both have good jobs with Insurance. Jo's employers are incredibly supportive of helping us with the issues, that they have said they will help out with days off for the Dr's visits, time off for the procedure's and so on, which has helped incredibly since it is a travel to the nearest Dr, and there is so much involved.
At the beginning of May we had our appointment for another yearly for Jo, again we both went to talk about the fertility and get some insight and opinions. The dr referred us to a Fertility clinic in Fargo, who meets with patients in Bismark. We got our appointment set up, and off we went to Bismark for the afternoon. We were ecstatic to feel completely at ease with this Dr, and as he talked about the process and listened to our concerns, we felt this was it, it was time! It had been some time since Darin's last Semen Analysis, so the Dr wanted this repeated, as well as a class about In-Vetro at his clinic and so forth. We got scheduled for the next available date and went to Fargo (a 4 hr drive) for both. We felt so strongly that this was our time, we got all the insurance information taken care of, and we learned that it was going to be covered by both companies, we of course couldn't be happier about this news. On the way back to Dickinson from Fargo, we received a phone call from Dr. Christensen (our new fertility Dr), it's never a good thing when the Dr himself calls, right? Well, it wasn't good news. Darin's test had come back with NO live sperm, initially this meant that he couldn't be the donor. However, the Dr felt strongly about some other tests being performed and Darin's bloodwork being ran as well. He'd call us back shortly with more results. This was on a Thursday, and we had a very agonizing weekend before we heard from him again. It's official, there is no longer a count for Darin, the Dr has spoken with yet another Uroligist and together they feel very strongly that a Byopsy of the Testicle is needed and the sooner the better. The good news is, the Testosterone levels are back up in the normal range, however Darin is still having some severe symptoms of low testosterone, which they can't treat until we know more about the sperm count. The Dr has discontinued Darin's medication, as it may be counteracting the count, by bringing up the levels. Another 4-6 weeks to know if it's changing things!
We are in the process of making this appointment, and are waiting for a phone call back from the Uroligist. Some of you, like us may be wondering what exactly will be byopsied, and what it will tell them, let us explain. Darin will be put to sleep, and they will take a sample directly from the Testicle, this will then be analyzed to see if there is any sperm there. Basically, if his body is making Sperm. If they find it, there is a blockage somewhere, if not Darin fathering children has become a Dream not a goal.
We had very high hopes of not involving our family in this process, not because of how wonderfully supportive they all are, but because we wanted to be able to surprise everyone with, GUESS WHAT!!!! We have decided that with this added difficulty we need all the support we can get. We are trying to stay positive, and we both know that there is still the possibility of Donor Eggs usage, or Adoption. Both of which is not something that we consider to be ideal for us. We wanted the chance to have a baby together, a baby that is both of ours. Don't get me wrong, both of these instances would give us a child that we would treasure and love deeply, but when your goal has always been to be a parent, you feel as though a part of you is being taken away with the knowledge we have just been given.
As we stated before, we have tried so hard to remain positive and upbeat about this entire process. As Jo likes to say, we are being thrown this for a reason, let's make the most of it and run! However the unknown that lay ahead of us right now is proving to be very trying. The thought of being let down over and over with adoption, or not knowing the person that donated an egg to us is very scary. It gets hard also, when we hear the wonderful news of our friends having babies, again, don't get us wrong, it's so exciting and we wouldn't dream of holding it against you or having ill feelings about it. But, we do continue to ask, why it must be so hard?!?!?!
We are not looking for your sympathy, your understanding (unless you've been through this process you can't possibly comprehend it.) We are however asking for you to keep our situation in your thoughts, your prayers and in the back of your mind, when you meet someone without children, please don't let your first question be, why you don't have kids? or when will you begin your family?
Infertility is very common and through this process we have learned of quite a few people who have conceived using In-Vetro, this however doesn't mean it's easy to deal with or talk about!
We plan to keep you updated on our journey as best we can, please be patient with us, and this news came to us about two weeks, and our closest family just found out late this week. It takes time for us to digest and come to terms with the information we are given before we can even dream of spreading it.

All our love!

Visitors from Utah Day 4

Day 4 of the visit to North Dakota, was spent relaxing. Jo and Darin went back to work, so everyone else just relaxed and went around town. For dinner we had a Barbeque, visited, then off to bed. Tuesday morning as Jo went to work, she said goodbye to her Parents, and Korbin. We had a great visit, and wasn't really ready for them to head home. Jo's fears of Korbin forgetting her were quickly subsided by the smile on his face when he seen her and the fact that he went right to her and gave her a big hug & kiss. He was pretty lovey with her the whole trip, which she of course loved and ate up. Although, the visit wasn't for long, a good time was had by all!

They left North Dakota on Tuesday, and made their way to South Dakota, to Mt Rushmore, and a few other stops along their way. They are now back in Utah safe and sound. Here a few miscellaneous pics from the visit!


Another loving morning. Korbin and Aunt B


Korbin doing his Cartwheels


Korbin and Aunt B. He was feeling very lovey this morning.


Korbin & Aunt B


Jo and her Dad


Darin and Mom Bills


Although a very unflattering picture, it's the only one we got of Jo and her mom.

Visitors from Utah, Day 3

Day 3 of the visit was also Fathers Day. We took Jo's dad to a Fathers Day brunch then we went to the Carnival that was in town for the weekend. Korbin had a blast, even though it was past naptime and he was really tired, he did great! He picked out his rides and which order. We bought him and Jo a wristband to go on whatever rides he wanted. He choose the Carousel first and both Darin and Jo went on the ride with him, next he wanted to drive the cars, then he insisted on going on the Dragon Roller coaster for kids. We tried to talk him out of it because it looked to be a little too much for him, but when he gets his mind set on something that's it! After that he was afraid of everything. To help get him back into it we did the Ferris Wheel, that was all it took, he then wanted to try all the rides! We choose to do the tiltabears next, then the Tiltawhirl, which he LOVED and had to do twice! After that Darin and Jo did a ride on their own, and then we walked through the crazy house, which he didn't love again. After that we decided to grab a snow cone and head home. Korbin didn't make it to far before he was out! We all came home and took a nap and enjoyed the rest of the day together. Another long tiring day, but the weather was in our favor and we had some fun! Here are a few of the pictures we captured of our Carnival fun!



Korbin and Uncle D on the Carousel.


Korbin driving on the Cars.


Korbin on the Dragon Roller Coaster.


Korbin & Aunt B on the Ferris Wheel.


Darin and Jo on the ride Jo wanted to go on. It went up and did a circle. Super Fun!

Visitors from Utah Day 2

Day 2 of the visit started with breakfast in Belfield, at a fun restaurant called Trappers Kettle, very yummy food. We then drove about 40 miles to Medora ND. Medora is a small western town that has some fun stops/stores in it. We made it to town just in time to see Joey O's performance. He's a comedian that is very uplifting and from Iowa! After his show we took a drive through the Theodore Roosevelt National Park. It is beautiful country, with plenty of wild flowers and wild creatures to be seen. (this is where we went in March where we seen the Buffalo) After the drive we went through the museum and took the tour of one of Roosevelt's cabins. We then went to the Cowboy Hall of Fame Museum, then went through a few of Medora's stores. We also stopped by an Ice Cream shop for some Homemade Ice Cream and Fudge. By that time it was time to head to our Dinner and show reservations! We had made reservations at the Pitchfork Steak Fondue restaurant, super good food, great ambiance, and a beautiful view, topped off with a live band. All in the great outdoors. It was awesome. We then walked across the parking lot to the Medora Musical which is an Outdoor Ampitheatre, that has a show playing every night from June 2- Sept 15. This years show is very patriotic and very worth the time and money! The Medora Musical is a play that changes each year, during the intermission, there are different acts that are brought in from everywhere. We got to see an awesome Dog Trainer and her dogs do some pretty neat tricks. It was pretty kewl watching her and knowing she had been on Jay Leno, and David Letterman. That's two performances in one day that had been on these popular shows. Lucky us! At the beginning of the show they invite all the kids down to the stage to do a little dance, of course Korb wanted to go, so Grandma opted to take him down. He loved it and was not a happy camper to have to go back up to our seats. All the kids were given a really cute little Microphone to remember their visit. We had been a little worried that afternoon of our dinner and show being rained out, but the rain cleared out and returned to a beautiful day. Not to warm, not to cold, just perfect! After the show we drove the 40 miles back to Dickinson, and went straight to bed. Saturday was a very long tiring day, but we had oh so much fun!



The Badlands Overlook in the Theodore Roosevelt National Park, a very pretty drive with lots of wildlife to see.


Sorry if the sight of rare meat grosses you out, but had to show you how they cook it.


The view we had during our yummy dinner. Of to another side was some Elk, and another was the ampitheatre for the Medora Musical.


Korbin thoroughly enjoyed the show, he sat really still like this for pretty much the entire 2 1/2 hrs. This picture happens to be during the dog tricks.


Korbin on stage at the Medora Musical.

Visitor's from Utah Day 1

Jo's parents and lil nephew came into town last week. They got into town on Thursday afternoon, Jo has an amazing job, that let her leave when they got here. We went to lunch then came home to relax and get settled. When Darin got home from work, we played a game of Phase 10, visited for a bit, then headed off to bed. Friday brought us a beautiful day with lots and lots of WIND. There was probably a steady wind of 50-55 MPH, that doesn't count the gusts. So, with the wind we decided to have breakfast, and take a drive to Regent, ND and show Korbin, Mom & Dad the Enchanted Highway. Off we went. We stopped at each of the displays, but only got out of the car at one of them, the stage coach with horse, Korb wanted to sit in the stage coach. Afterward we came home, mom and Jo made a really yummy Fried Chicken dinner, and we pulled out the Wii and played a few games. Then it was off to bed to prepare ourselves for another long day of touristy fun for Saturday. Here's a few pics of our Friday adventure!



Korbin and Barkley get along great! Korb plays with him so well, and Barkley follows him around like crazy, SOO cute!


Korbin playin Wii Fit, with the help of Grandma, of course!


Korbin, Papa, & Uncle D with the Military tank in Regent.


Korbin with the lil Buffalo at the Gift shop in Regent


Korbin sticking his face in Mama tinman-erwoman, at the gift shop in Regent



All the important men in Jo's life. The story behind the stop sign is that it's short, like Jo's dad, so we convinced him we needed a pic with it. Love you daddy!

A common sight, at the Noe household in North Dakota.

Barkley sits like this often looking out the window, it's one of his fave spots. Super cute!


Scotty relaxin while Jo is working on some Scentsy orders.

Here are a few pics of the dogs, although they really do play and these pics mainly show them only being lazy. We thought these were just to cute not to share!



Scotty enjoys sleeping on their pillow.



Barkley sleeps like this quite often, and we can't help but laugh. Notice the squeeky toy by his head he was squeeking on it before he conked out, and the bone at the other end, he was enjoying a few minutes beforehand.

Party went great, Thanks to you!

I wanted to show everyone what I got with all of your orders! Thanks so very much to each of you that took a few minutes out of your busy days, and ordered from my Tupperware Party. I was about $40.00 from the goal I had set for myself, however Thanks to all of your orders I still had a pretty good party. Better luck next time, I guess!

I am in heaven with all of my stuff, and I am thoroughly in love with the Tupperware brand of product.

Anyway your support means a lot to me, and I appreciate all of your orders and friendship! You are all great, I can't wait to get the invites to your parties and such, to return the favor and kindness you have showed to me.

Love you all!