Saying Goodbye...

Can you ever truly be prepared to say Goodbye to someone who has touched your life? I think the answer is no! The Friday after Thanksgiving we received the call, that Darin's Aunt Bonnie had passed away. We were saddened by the news, but felt relief in knowing she was done suffering and moved on to Heaven to be with her parents and wait for the rest of us. As we talked about Going to the funeral vs. Not Going there were pro's and cons on both ends. Darin felt very strongly that we needed to go, and so we went. We left North Dakota early Sunday morning and drove straight through, arriving in Brandon, Iowa about 10pm Central time. We woke the next morning to attend the funeral, see some family and head for home. We stayed Monday night in Alexandria, Minnesota and got home just in time for Jo to make it to her Scentsy party Tuesday. It was a fast trip, but a good trip. We were able to see a few family members, and visit, but most importantly we were able to pay our Respects to a very wonderful lady.

I didn't know Aunt Bonnie well, but as I listened to the stories that were told about her at the funeral, I was touched at how she had affected so many lives. They talked about her love for her Church and her laugh. I haven't been in the family long enough, or around enough to have heard her laugh, but I can almost hear it as everyone around me was remembering her. What a special spirit she was. She was born with Down Syndrome, and had her fair share of trials, but she came through smiling and enjoying life. What a woman, she was! At her funeral, the pastor relayed a story to each of us, afterward they had some copies made, I took one and wanted to share it.

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child
with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared
that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would
feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip- to Italy. you buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. you may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"HOLLAND?!?!" you say, "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. it's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, let flashy than Italy. but after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills.. and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.


I can't explain exactly why, but that lil story really touched me. I'm so glad that we were able to make it to Iowa for Aunt Bonnie's funeral, and although I didn't know her well, I feel as if I did. I enjoyed hearing all the stories shared about her personality and enjoyed hearing some of the family's favorite memories of her. Again, my only thoughts are, What an amazing Special Spirit she was! We were all so lucky to have known her! You will be missed Bonnie!